Self Help Oodlies

Paul Therien and his artentions

Mar 30th, 2015 Oodlies 1 min read

Joi: You post all your new portraits up on twitter and facebook much like I do with my oodlies. What is it about sharing that makes you keep doing it over and over again? A friend of mine had this discussion with me and he said a huge part of it must be attention. And yeah of course it is. But attention is such a…

Sarah Wilson's Gary Patel

Sarah Wilson’s Gary Patel in all its glory

Mar 27th, 2015 Oodlies Interviews 1 min read

Joi: Who is Gary Patel? (btw I have evidence). Sarah: I think he’s a foreign exchange student who got done for posing as a dentist. Joi: Could be or maybe not at all. I believe Gary is what you call your vagina (I gave it a last name) and you’ve just given it a crim record. From an email interview with Sarah Wilson

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Shit a brick Mrs Purchase

Mar 26th, 2015 Oodlies 1 min read

Once I walked into a bookshop and started chatting with the owner. Before I left he asked if he could please have my email address because his wife would really like me. I’d never heard that line before so I gave it to him. 5 years later his wife is still emailing me. I realise now he needed someone to occupy his deranged wife. And…

big eyes looking for silence and eggs

Who will look for eggs if you’re silent

Mar 22nd, 2015 Oodlies 1 min read

I watched Big Eyes today but before that I had a hot chocolate and waited for 20 minutes trying to ignore the chatter behind me Because it was chatter about filling in gaps of silence and nothing else Still I know keeping silent is often a brave thing to do as will your silence offend will you lose all your thoughts are you alive is…

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I am no longer a graphic designer I work in a chocolate shop

Mar 21st, 2015 Oodlies 1 min read

Listen do you want to know a secret do you promise not to tell I am no longer a graphic designer I work in a chocolate shop because how can anyone be cranky in a chocolate shop That’s what I thought until one day a very small lady with (not one but) two umbrellas spoke angry words in an angry tone Her coated macadamia toffee…

A mindful pause

My most favourite thing to do is to spend time alone

Mar 20th, 2015 Oodlies 1 min read

My most favourite thing to do is to spend time alone One activity I enjoy doing alone is watching movies another is simply lying on a rug while my dog sits on my face and yet another is drinking pineapple juice Every time I come out of my time alone I’m more likable (proven) and more likely to attend parties dinners and all these social…

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I once met a girl online, called Sunny Singh

Mar 19th, 2015 Oodlies 1 min read

I once met a girl online called Sunny Singh She has written many books Yes books! whole books! Sometimes I write a short paragraph which is all I can manage before I feel all my organs dangling out If I were to stand in the sun and came into copious amounts of salt they’d pickle ready for a meal Here’s to all writers may your…