An email interview with Jacqui Roach Hudson
Joi: Why are you called Gin?
Roach:I like gin. I had it as part of my username (littleginbird) for a while on a bulletin board I can no longer go on, and that's where it got shortened to gin I think. I spent a summer a few years ago perfecting the g&t. ice is made out of tonic. 50:50 is best. lime is better than lemon. My fave gins are tanqueray and plymouth. I also like south, lighthouse & hendricks. I am a gin geek.
Joi: You've been knitting lately, how does that make you feel?
Roach: I started knitting (right now socks for the 4 year old) again when the move to Melbourne started to happen. Anytime I got anxious about the move, I knitted a bit. And it helped. (It didn't help me get organised to move but it made me not care that I was getting nothing else done) Then, I visited Gillian and got some magic potions and I didn't need to knit so much. I still have to get the dreaded second sock completed.
Joi: Last weekend you moved country (from Wellington, NZ to Melbourne, Australia) with Mr Roach and two little roaches, I'm sure that wasn't stressful and at all and your kids don't wake up at 4a.m wanting to play as they are on kiwi time, what are your thoughts on global warming?
Roach: I think global warming exists but I really don't have the energy to care. I would like to live in a self-sufficient off the grid house (composting toilet, solar, wind power, vege garden, cow etc...) but that's more about not wanting to rely on other people than worrying about global warming. its too big & it makes my head hurt so I put my fingers in my ears & go 'la la la la la'.
Joi: What's your favourite thing to say when you're pissed?
Roach: I don't say much, pissed or not pissed. I am not a big talker.
Joi: I really lucked out with you. Have you met my other crushes online? they can't shut up and one of them seems to sleep tweet.
Joi: You're a bit of a geek, tell us about that?
Roach: My first job out of uni was as a marketing person at the Statistics Department. Only I wasn't allowed to call myself a 'marketing' person as I wasn't in the Marketing department. So I marketed some of their products but I didn't really. Also, I am not a good marketing person as I would rather hide in a toilet than try and push something on someone. I knew of a place that ran graduate computer programmer training programmes and I bugged them every month for a year until they gave me a job as a trainee cobol programmer. I had always had a 'thing' for computers and I am not sure why I did time wasting uni courses in science and accounting and marketing when I should have done comp sci. Cobol is a 1960's mainframe computer language and boring as all hell but almost all banks are still running on it. I worked in credit cards which someone once told me was 'the work of the devil'.
Joi: That amazing photo of you, the one that lead to me stalking you and oodling you, who took it and what were you doing at the time, was it planned? what was that day like?
Roach: I took it myself, on the computer. I decided I needed a new profile pic. I had managed to make my hair look decent. I may have even put makeup on (a rare thing). I tried a dorky smiling face but then that one just worked. It's rare for me to like a photo of myself.
Joi: Names are so important, they shape people. I really do believe people grow into their names, so if you name your kid Egbert then. Was it difficult naming your kids, did you have your top 3 names for each, did you wait until you saw them?
Roach: I didn't name Lachlan, Mr Roach did. We discussed names from very early pregnant and it was one he put up. I had loads of other's but he just had Lachlan. I added James as it was a family name. When baby was found to be a boy (at 12 week scan) apparently that was his name. I didn't love it & for the first 3 months of his life I found it hard to say. I like it now but I want to smack people upside the head who shorten it to Lachie/Lochie. I have 'trained' him to say 'My name is Lachlan, not Lachie'. And now we are in Australia and there are a million and one Lachlan's and I'd like to give him another name but it's too late. Emilienne was one of my french Great Grandmother's names and I have always loved it ( it's said exactly as it's spelled Em-i-li-en). If I ever had a girl child, that was going to be their name. And I stuck Maia on there as I needed a short 'M' name so her initials would be 'EM'.
Joi: You have very young kids and once said you never planned to be a stay at home mum (someone should come up with a better term like 'kid shaper' btw(by the way) how good is the kiwi band shape shifter!!!). My mum stayed home to look after my brothers and I. I've always been grateful for that, she was a teacher before she had us. It was amazing arriving home as a young kid to tell my mum many, long stories (she still cringes, apparently my stories never ended and were always changing with 100 different characters all with specific names, every minute). The one thing I remember the most from my childhood is jumping off that last step of my school bus, mum waiting at the gate smiling and grabbing my bag from me. Do you find there's some pressure to fit into a certain role as a kid shaper?
Roach: I am not a natural mum, but maybe no-one is and I just analyse this stuff too much. It's easier when they are under 1 as you can just love them lots and that's it but as they get older & start being stroppy it just feels like an endless war to maintain some basic boundaries so they don't turn into appalling little shits that everyone hates. I like them though, I think they are quite cool little human beings. But I like my own space & it's hard having little people hanging off you all day. The biggest things that bug me about being a mum are cups of tea always going cold and not being able to go to the toilet alone.
Joi: Tell us about your time in the US as a younger roach
Roach: I worked in a Colorado ski resort after finishing Uni. I was a housekeeper and made excellent money but was the scum of the earth at the same time. I got addicted to all the amazing and stupid breakfast cereals they have over there. I never ski-ed enough. I realised illegal drugs make me disturbingly paranoid.
Joi: slut.
Roach: Not a slut. In fact, totally sweet & innocent until well after that. I was... 22? when I went to the states. I was a week short of 24 before I 'lost my virginity'. I think that's infinitely more embarrassing than being a slut. Some stuff happened to me around 14 at school & it wasn't until someone posted recently on twitter about not-rape, that I realised just how much what happened may have messed me up & sent me inside my shell.
Joi: I’m setting up a point system for you. When you behave, best case scenario I’ll send you oodlies, I haven’t worked out what happens when you misbehave and I won’t go into details about what constitutes misbehaving here, but there is a very serious side to this point system.
Joi: How did you meet Mr Roach (Paul)? did you want to shag him right away or was it gradual thing?
Roach: I met him at Ed's Juice Bar in Wellington. I thought he was shaggable straight away.
Joi: That’s a tough one, how do you pick someone up at a juice bar? And how many juices before you let him into your tunnel?
Ed's Juice Bar was a fabulous semi-hippie (but not actual-hippie as it was Ed's business & he did want to make money) smoothie place on Victoria St, Wellington (gone now). It was the only one at time that used just fruit and ice & didn't shove ice cream or milk or yoghurt in. This made me happy as I was off dairy & it tasted great too. Oh & truthfully, we met on the Internet but we met for the first time in the flesh at Ed's Juice Bar. And, the shagging took a little while to get started, for various reasons. But, it was well worth the wait. Still is.
Joi: Can your friend @muffinmum really make a curry? she seems to make casseroles and then calls it a 'curry'. How long have you know n her and do you miss her at all?
Roach: I have no idea. I've been out for dinner with her lots & eaten her cookies but never her curry. I have known her a few years in internet-land and maybe... 2 years IRL? And I can't process 'missing people' while I am in survival-mode-limbo. (pass the red wine please).
Joi: That’s cool this question is just here so I can add ‘your mate @muffinmum can’t cook a curry if her flower depended on it’.
Joi: I have a terrible habit of rating people (people say its terrible I don't think its terrible at all!). I blame 3 years of using twitter columns. For some reason I find it necessary to tell someone yesterday they were number 8 in my book and today they've kinda gone down to a 4. Of course you can't ever have one person stay at the top, as it all depends on your thoughts on the day, what they've done, what you've done. So when you think about it, its ridiculous to even wonder why you've gone down the scale. Btw the scale is often based on 'who gets saved from a burning building first'. Since leaving NZ, who do you miss the most in order, 1-6, GO!
Roach: I don't miss anyone, and I feel bad about that but I think I am in some 'this isn't really happening' limbo. I know I am committed to here & I am not about to jump a plane home. I think if I start missing people I will dissolve in a puddle of sadness so I am not letting myself go there.
Joi: A question for Lachlan. If you met SpongeBob what is the first thing you'd ask him? If SpongeBob lived in Wellington, would he still live in a pineapple as the beaches are so beautiful why live under the sea even, do you agree or some things can't be changed?
Roach: He thought he would live in a pinecone. then he remembered it was pineapple and said no some things can't change. He would ask him what books he has. When he first saw my Oodlie he loved it and he wanted to be made into a bug as well. He's a very sensitive (we still have to FF through parts of Finding Nemo as it makes him too sad) thoughtful and loving little boy, but he's also very much a boy too & thinks burps and especially farts are hilarious.
Roach: Have you touched felt yet? (Or is that felt felt?)
Joi: There are a few people on the interweb who like talking to me about felt and knitting, I don’t know how it started but I can’t seem to end it. You asshole.
Roach: I love how you make being introverted your thing. How did you avoid making it a 'character flaw' (like I did) and did you ever worry about being 'the quiet one'?
Joi: The only time I think about it is if my aloofness makes someone feel I don’t like them or am being unfriendly for a reason. That’s the only time I’d even make an effort to small talk or grope for things to say. As its really shitty hurting someone just because they don’t understand you don’t have to say something all the time. Apart from that, I think being an introvert is an asset. Mostly, as people get to know me, they understand I go off in my own head and it has nothing to do with them. I lie a lot, if I don’t want to go to a party or thing because I know I’d just find it awkward. Lying seems to work very well, but you kinda need to have a good memory if you lie, so sometimes I’ll diary a lie. I’d totally lie to you (I haven’t yet, I was really busy when you first arrived).
I absolutely love catching people at lies too, say I invite them to something and I feel they’ve just made up an excuse not to attend, I’d do an insane amount of research to find out, not because I care but because for some reason that sort of lie make me piss myself laughing. And I’d totally tell them I just found out they lied, most people find this hilarious btw its just a misconception that being caught lying is embarrassing.
Roach: Did you have lots of flashers in your childhood (I had a few) or were there never enough penis' and you are making up for that now?
Joi: Not many flashers, maybe one or two. I’m not sure what you’re talking about here but I have to say I only like circumcised penis(es) I really don’t think foreskin is attractive in any way and will have nothing to do with it.
Joi: Tell us about your art
Roach: knitting and embroidery are my art. I sew a bit too. I don't consider them art though as I follow a pattern. I'd like to create my own things one day but my brain is too soggy from looking after dynamite-girl.
Joi: Where do you spend most of your time online?
Roach: Twitter.
Joi: I met you on twitter, after stalking you on FB. Do you stalk people on twitter too? top 3 people you know on twitter you wish you could meet? (don't worry its an oodlies interview now is when you can grade people and play favourites everyone blames me for these questions and totally ignores the bizarre answers I've been getting)
Roach: @grannyg_in_nz @kittenypentland & @AdrienneRewi I like interesting and slightly stroppy women who don't play silly games and have their own clever 'thing'. (Like Joi! or Gilbert) I find these 3 particularly interesting and cool.
Joi: Roach in ten years?
Roach: Creating proper art with yarn or thread. Caring less while caring more.
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